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Gross Me Out (cont.) Smelly things, rotten things, and insects galore. Rule Number 8: Rotten things are gross. Here is a simplified version of how you make hakarl, an Icelandic delicacy: 1. You take a shark. 2. You put it in the ground. 3. You come back six months later. Dig in! Hakarl is served along with other Viking delicacies during Thorri, the fourth month of the Icelandic year. Other items on the Thorri menu include ram's testicles and singed lamb's heads. The remarkable thing about Icelanders is that they know that everyone else thinks their cuisine is gross, and this is a source of amusement to them. So you won't have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of the natives if you pass up a Thorri banquet. But think of how you might dazzle your friends if you do take the plunge!
This rule is connected to Rule Number 8, Rotten Foods Are Gross. But a food doesn't have to be rotten to be grossly smelly. Consider the durian, a renowned and reviled spiky fruit native to Southeast Asia. The taste is sweet, but the smell is noxious...a unique combination of gas leak and sewer. My father and I ordered durian while dining in Tokyo. The waitress looked at us and said, "Are you sure?" We insisted that we were thoroughly prepared for the smell. This, as it turned out, was a vicious lie. Durian starts out remarkably sweet and syrupy, like a creamy canned peach. Then the aftertaste hits you, as if you swallowed diesel fuel. Then the smell permeates the entire restaurant, and the other diners start shooting you dirty looks. Then you find yourself burping up the durian aftertaste for several hours. Americans aren't the only ones to find the stench of durian distasteful; in Singapore, it is illegal to take durian on public transportation. Banned in Singapore? Definitely cool. Rule Number 10: Eating pets is gross. Anthropologist Harris has a theory: in places where there are more efficient sources of protein in abundance—like the United States—societies can afford to look upon animals like dogs and cats as pets. "In contrast, dog-eating cultures generally lack an abundance of alternative sources of animal foods, and the services which dogs can render alive are not sufficient to outweigh the products they can provide while dead." In places where protein is harder to come by, dogs and cats become dinner. This one's a touchy subject. Given Americans' enthusiastic affection for their pets, returning from a dog-eating culture and bragging about how succulent the puppies tasted may inspire more hatred than awe. If the examples in the above Rules of Gross Food have not thoroughly disgusted you, then you may be ready to break the rules in judicious combinations. Consider casu marzu, Sardinian maggot cheese. This combines insects, rotting, a stench, and living creatures. What could be better? To make casu marzu, you start with pecorino, an ordinary Italian sheep-milk cheese. You leave it out in the sun, so flies can lay their eggs in it. The larvae become maggots, whose respiration causes the cheese to ferment into a particularly creamy concoction. The Wall Street Journal describes casu marzu as follows: "a viscous, pungent goo that burns the tongue and can affect other parts of the body. One neophyte experienced a strange crawling sensation on his skin that lasted for days. And some of the wiggling worms jump straight toward the eyes with ballistic precision. To protect the eyes, some Sardinians recommend holding a hand over the sandwich." Bon Appetit!
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